First Weekend Together

Too Many Plans


When a couple chooses their first weekend together, they might each have their own plan for what they should do. He wants to spend some time alone, but she wants to invite guests. She believes they should go to an art show, but he would rather go to the pub and watch the local match. Cooking is something one of them prefers, but the other would rather buy a fully cooked meal so they can spend more time talking. Either way, there can be far too many plans for them to accomplish in just one weekend.

Deciding how to trim down their plans can cause issues between them, but it is part of the process of being able to live together as a couple. Whatever one person wants, they must balance it against the dreams of their partner. The big question is whether or not it will become an issue as the relationship goes forward, so thinking each decision through thoroughly should be part of the process before any decisions are reached.

It might seem easiest to just give in, but doing that will set a bad precedent. The partner who gets everything they want will expect that behavior in the future, and the other person is likely to resent it after a while. They might compromise on attending events that will only be that weekend, but it must be discussed as a compromise due to timing rather than desire. This will begin the process of learning how to balance issues for both partners.

Good relationships are about finding the right balance between two people, and starting to find it during the first weekend is a good way to set up a lifetime of real sharing. For those who have made more plans than they can possibly achieve, narrowing down their choices is their first big decision as a couple.